Lately there's this person who's annoying the fuck out of me. I dont know why. I mean...he/she didn't do anything wrong but there's this thing about him/her that irks me. That superficial smile, the i-only-hang-out-with-the-in-crowd attitude, and that condescending look he/she has.
Maybe I'm jealous. Jealous of how these people could please everyone because they're achingly nice. Because they're politically correct. Because they're oh so demure yadah yadah. And everyone just comes up to you and say " Why can't you be like ___? Get your ass off your high horse!" For fuck's sake I dont want to be ___. I can't make a friend just because she's your friend's mom's daughter's boyfriend's friend, facebook-add her, and then the very next day become best friends. Okay not that extreme but you get my point.
I want to be real. But more often than not, I find myself morphing into the very bane of my existence, just because I want to fit in. Just because I dont want to be labelled as the girl who thinks she's better than anyone else. Just because I dont want to get stares like the weird girl in school. Just because i want people to notice me. Me me me. Shameless you say? Tell that to the 9359359278 people who does that everyday.
Purged all my posts earlier. Nothing special just think that its time for a new phase of my life. Probably wont be blogging much cos you know how school is but at least there's a space of my own. Not shared by anyone. Not even you.
9131.) I wish i could be myself all the time. There are so many people who think they know me really well, and i let them believe that. but the truth is, it's just a facade. You don't know me. Noone does. If i started being my true self now, none of you would be friends with me anymore. I wish things were different, but i've been wearing this mask too long to change. -bs@tumblr.
